With a long career of harping under her belt, Hillary Clinton last year announced a marathon grievance process after her 2016 Presidential election loss against Donald Trump. Almost two years later that public healing continues and she now has potential of entering the Guiness Book of World Records.
Current placeholder Paris Hilton was asked about her record being broken, “I broke that record when my chihuahua FiFi died, it was a very hard time for me. Hillary is an epic whiner though, I could see her pulling this off.”
In a never-ending lineup of guest appearances fueled by media outlets eager to entertain her, Hillary insists the public suffer through this process with her via CNN. Quote Hillary, “Between interviews I hide in my mansion with the blinds drawn and keep the song “Drive” by the Cars on repeat. Otherwise, I’m active and just want the public to know what a terrible person Donald Trump is ..also the winner wins a gift card to the Sears store department, I love their pantsuits.”
Three more months and Mrs. Clinton will be a success, should she win Hillary has agreed to a photo shoot with Gerard Jesse of the Philippines, a placeholder in the Guiness Book of World Records for the most Candles extinguished by passing gas (5). Hillary is proud to become part of such a diverse group of people; Mr. Jesse’s record breaking video can be seen below.