Jimmy Kimmel Time Travels From the Past, Begs to Go Back to 1999

Jimmy Kimmel from the past breaks out of a secret military facility and meets himself. The interview does not go well.


After breaking out of a Government facility, Jimmy Kimmel has brought to light a secret time traveling project named “Blue Balls” tested at a covert military installation in Nevada for decades. The shocker? This Jimmy Kimmel is from nineteen years ago.

While running from agents Mr. Kimmel was able to contact his attorney and ensure safe passage to a LA hotel, military officials searched for the late night host until he showed up on CBS News discussing his befuddled state.

Not long after the young Jimmy Kimmel was invited to and appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live to meet his older self. The taping began friendly but turned for the worse.

People from around the world watched as a young Jimmy sulked, when asked what was wrong he responded, “Well the future isn’t looking too bright for me. In my time I was drinking beer and getting my zucchini sucked on the street. Today, I see me crying on television about health care and something called “me too” where men aren’t allowed to get laid unless they sign a contract. There’s a lot of ugly men out there, how the hell are they supposed to get a girl if they’re not aggressive!?”

Jimmy Kimmel getting his Zucchini sucked on the street.

The Jimmy from 2018 was taken aback by the brash and sexist undertone of the question, “I resent that. You have to understand, Jimmy, these are different times. The “me too” movement has liberated women from a sex charged work environment, they can speak their mind if their bosses come on to them.” Jimmy returned skeptically, “And how did you meet your wife Molly?” The older Jimmy went flush red, “She was one of my employees.”

After review of “The Man Show” tapes the young Mr. Kimmel was charged with sexual misconduct and tried at a Court in Los Angeles. Female activists stormed the city and banged the doors looking to flood the courthouse, older Jimmy Kimmel joined them in chanting, “Hell no, old Jimmy must go!”

Young Jimmy Kimmel was sentenced to ten years in a state penitentiary where he now spends time making license plates with his boyfriend Castle.



  1. Thanks for some other informative web site. The place else may just I am getting that type of info written in such an ideal method? I have a mission that I’m just now running on, and I have been at the glance out for such info.

  2. I must thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this website. I’m hoping to see the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my very own website now 😉

  3. Hey There. I found your blog the use of msn. This is an extremely well written article. I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information. Thank you for the post. I will definitely comeback.

  4. I like the valuable information you supply in your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. I am relatively certain I will be informed lots of new stuff right here! Good luck for the following!

  5. I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts in this kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this web site. Reading this info So i’m glad to show that I have a very good uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed. I so much no doubt will make certain to don?t forget this web site and give it a look on a constant basis.

  6. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail. I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

  7. It is perfect time to make a few plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this publish and if I may I want to recommend you few interesting things or suggestions. Perhaps you could write next articles relating to this article. I wish to read more things approximately it!

  8. Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all folks you really understand what you are talking approximately! Bookmarked. Please also talk over with my web site =). We may have a link exchange agreement among us

  9. Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Cheers!

  10. We stumbled over here from a different page and thought I might check things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you. Look forward to looking at your web page yet again.

  11. I think what you postedwrotesaidthink what you postedtypedsaidthink what you postedwrotebelieve what you postedtypedsaidWhat you postedtyped was very logicala ton of sense. But, what about this?consider this, what if you were to write a killer headlinetitle?content?wrote a catchier title? I ain’t saying your content isn’t good.ain’t saying your content isn’t gooddon’t want to tell you how to run your blog, but what if you added a titlesomethingheadlinetitle that grabbed people’s attention?maybe get a person’s attention?want more? I mean %BLOG_TITLE% is a little vanilla. You ought to look at Yahoo’s home page and watch how they createwrite post headlines to get viewers interested. You might add a video or a pic or two to get readers interested about what you’ve written. Just my opinion, it might bring your postsblog a little livelier.

  12. Hello there! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it tough to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Thank you

  13. Undeniably consider that that you stated. Your favourite justification appeared to be at the net the simplest thing to take note of. I say to you, I definitely get irked at the same time as folks consider worries that they plainly do not recognise about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the top as welland also defined out the whole thing with no need side effect , folks can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thank you

  14. Fantastic beat ! I wish to apprentice even as you amend your web site, how can i subscribe for a blog site? The account aided me a appropriate deal. I were tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast provided shiny transparent concept

  15. Excellent post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and I am inspired! Very useful information specially the remaining part 🙂 I care for such info a lot. I used to be seeking this particular info for a long timelong time. Thank you and good luck.

  16. hi!,I really like your writing so so much! percentage we keep in touch more approximately your post on AOL? I need an expert in this area to unravel my problem. May be that is you! Looking forward to see you.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here