Director torn between two Actors Keith Ellison and Michael Dyson for lead role in reboot: So You Married an Axe Murderer 2.

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In a surprise move by famed Director Ivanna Garowitz, two choices were placed in front of “Liberal Privilege Productions” to assume the lead role in their restart of the 90’s blockbuster “So You Married an Axe Murderer” starring a fermenting marshmallow Mike Myers.

 Mr Meyers gave up all rights to the script and IP after a long battle of coming to terms with the fact he is no longer funny. The well to do Comedian had a breakdown in 2016 when he realized the same man that embarrassed him during an interview now supports Donald Trump.

The sum asked by Mr Myers for the rights was considerable so the production company began discussing the project with potential writers, production and actors to better understand budget requirements.

A surprising choice for Director after his bombshell documentary “Chipotle: Why the Dog Smells”, Mr. Garowitz has come up against a difficult decision for lead role of the anticipated sequel.

“I want to get this just right, the person I choose must be taken lightly, I want the audiences head in pain from rolling their eyes when he comes on screen. Paradoxically, he must take himself extremely serious,” the Director said.

After rigorous auditioning throughout Hollywood, Ivanna came to the conclusion the search was hopeless, “I was watching the film ‘Glengarry Glen Ross’ when it hit me, I need to go outside the norm. I need a salesman for this role! And where better to find one but in politics?”

After numerous searches he finally came to two candidates, famed author and instigator of good-natured people in the black rights movement Michael Dyson came caught his eye along with Keith Ellison. The academy award winning director exclaimed, “After watching these two pros in action, the verbiage, the diversions and underhanded attacks, I found them perfect candidates for a dark comedy! The only problem is I must pick one when they’re both so sinister in a harmless manner that’s deceiving.”

After months of consideration the Director moved forward with Keith Ellison due to his decades of experience and knowledge of female abuse, the Production company partnered with a CGI effects studio to make Mr Ellison more likable named “I Can’t Believe Anyone Likes This Fucking Guy Studios”.

The movie is set to release this time next year, Mr Ellison happily informed the crew he has no plans of being in jail by that time.

 

*This is a satire piece and not to be taken literal, no one was harmed in the making of this article though a few egos may be bruised.

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