With Washington D.C. up in arms recently, each party has been looking towards technology to push their agenda. Newly leaked documents have exposed a five year plot enacted by Senator Chuck Schumer to replace Democrats and Republicans with America hating robots, Senator Dianne Feinstein (CA) was the first successful experiment recently found malfunctioning.
Senate Democrats became suspicious when they found Dianne Feinstein in a bar bathroom with the following sign over it:
After the incident months passed and Legislators became increasingly alarmed by Feinstein’s drastic change in behavior. Her natural tendencies towards underhanded dealings had turned from anger and resentment to smiles and heart felt emojis, qualities unwelcome by the Democratic party.
Late last month a reporter from Alive Media stumbled upon Dianne Feinstein in the corner of a Washington DC metro station with one other gentleman. When the Alive Media employee moved closer he realized the man was none of than Ryan Seacrest in an odd interaction with Feinstein, she and he seemed to be in a loop much like Amazon Echo and Google Home.
Washington DC has not been the only cult looking to profit from burgeoning technologies, Hollywood has proven active with the rise of influential robots such as Lindsey Lohan and Kylie Jenner.
Dr. Iam Lyer, co-founder of a DC based robot think tank stated, “Unfortunately, the earlier ISUCK42020 models when placed close enough can find themselves in a circle, repeatedly answering each other’s rhetorical questions much like the Kardashians.”
All members of Congress have been given rigorous tests to determine whether or not they are machines, upon hearing this Mark Zuckerberg sent an appeal stating such tests could be against the rights of intelligent robots. And racist.
Zuckerberg’s test has been scheduled for next week. Quote Lindsey Graham, “He does have an odd resemblance to Data from Star Trek the Next Generation.”
All discovered robots including Arizona Senator Jeff Flake and Dianne Feinstein have been decommissioned, nobody has been able to determine the whereabouts of the original Legislators or the MTV host Ryan Seacrest; both parties have determined they are better off.
This story is satire and not meant to be taken literally, no actors or politicians have been harmed in the making of this article though a few egos may be taken down a notch.
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